back to the past

ok, so i lied. i have news. well, i didnt have news when i made my last post, but now there is. so J and i broke up. i feel like i should be way sadder, since hes a really good guy, but i guess thats kinda the way it goes... part of it was that he was getting worried that some1 would find out about us (like some1 at school) and that he would be in a shitload of trouble. i mean age of consent is 16 so thats not a problem, but since hes a teacher, they probably wouldnt like it. but part of it was because of me 2...lots of times i didnt think that J was quite good enough, but idk if i really gace J a fair enough chance...i think a part of me was always comparing him to my dad, and i think taht thats kinda an unfair standard.

i wonder if thats something that everyone has to deal with in relationships? like if whenever u find a new person to be with, if u can ever really stop urself from comparing them to your past relationships. and i guess when theres still a part of u that wants 2 go back, its probably not fair to the new person. but like, how else do u move on if ur not going back out and looking for new people? but i guess if u keep going back 2 the same person after each new person, ur not really moving on, huh? idk if im really making sense. i havent been getting enough sleep because im up late studying, and finishing up college aps and shit. cant wait 2 be done with all this shit.

anyways, let me know what u think? any advice, suggestions, or anything. or even just random thoughts about the meaning of life, lol! i guess theres more than one person reading my blog now since 3 people voted in my poll. :) hey everyone! i promise im not always lame! keep coming back, and ill have new stuff XD!

bye!